Le Follies Burger
denver, central mountain sometime

(cAP) - Perhaps partly in response to South Park's outspoken spokesperson Eric Cartman's statement: French people piss me off! , and due to a lack of controversy at this summer's Tour de France, where they and their livestock had in the past blocked roadways and added another slippery dimension to the cobblestoned highways and byways of the Tour route, French farmers and some of their "products" have re-focused their pissed-offedness and are squealing over the US-led globalization of their country: Le McDomination of the global marketplace. 200 of them (the farmers, that is; no head count on the number of "products" displayed) staged a protest at the American Film Festival in Normandy last week. They and their supportingcast of cows and pigs (key grips - Got Milk? - and best boys) created quite a stink (exactly which of the three species created the biggest stink is still up for debate...) at the histor-chic resort town. What a difference 50 years makes. Americans stormed the beaches 50 years ago to help, but now the residents resent being told, according to one farmer, "what to eat and how to film". This American thinks that they should be told WHAT to watch as far as films. The protest should focus on:

1) abandoning their cultural identity to the juvenile humor of Jerry Lewis films;
2) quit diddling around with their pedophilic infatuation with Michael Jackson ("Where has that glove been?"); and,
3) replacing the personal goal of wanting to go to Diz-Knee-Land with personal hygiene.

But to the French, their food is their identity. They reserve the right to eat fungus, mold, and ground up organs that secrete bile and form blood, and don't want to dumb down their taste buds with hormone-fed US beef patties, special sauce, pickles, cheese, onions on sesame seed buns. Their hero of the day is Jose Bove, leader of the Farmers' Confederation, the radical left-wing union of French farmers. Bove, a sheep farmer, was recently arrested and jailed for vandalizing a McDonalds under construction in southern France. [Starbucks, take note.] McDonald's France dropped its claim against him when he agreed to change his name to Ove. Rather than keep his bovine-sounding surname, which was obviously causing him to act characteristic of a bull, ox or cow, he immediately started acting "ovine" - more sheeplike, meek and submissive, thus keeping more in line with his occupation and their wishes.

Or, as they say in America, he "sold out."

Or as they say in Laramie, WY: "Do the sheep, hang the Shepherd." (As in Matthew, gay guy pistol whipped, tied to fence, left for dead... coming up on 1 yr anniversary in Oct.) Talk about your deep-seeded attitudes out here in the Wild West; no wonder I never fit in.